Word Crimes Lyrics & Tabs by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Word Crimes
guitar chords lyrics
Everybody shut up
Everyone listen up (Hey hey hey)
(Hey hey hey, hey hey hey)
If you can't write in the proper way
If you don't know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you find
That people mock you online (everybody wise up)
Okay now here's the deal, I'll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize you with the nomenclature
You'll learn the definitions of nouns and prepositions
Literacy's your mission
And that's why I think it's a good time
To learn some grammar (what)
Now did I stammer?
And that's why I think it's a good time
To learn some grammar (what)
Now did I stammer?
Work on that grammar
You should know when it's "less" or it's "fewer"
Like people who were never raised in a sewer
I hate these word crimes
Like "I could care less"
That means you do care, at least a little
Don't be a moron
You better slow down and use the right pronoun
Show the world you're no clown (everybody wise up)
Say you got an "I", "T", followed by apostrophe
"S", now what does that mean?
You would not use "it's" in this case!
As a possessive (no no no)
It's a contraction (yeah yeah yeah)
What's a contraction?
"Well, it's the shortening of a word or group of words by omission of a sound or letter."
Okay, now here's some notes, syntax you're always manglin'
No "x" in espresso, your participle's danglin' (uh-huh)
But I don't want your drama (uh-huh)
If you really wanna leave out that Oxford comma (uh-huh)
Just keep in mind that "B", "C", "R", "U"
Are words not letters, get it together
Use your spell checker
You should never write words using numbers
Unless you're seven or your name is Prince (everybody wise up)
I hate these word crimes
You really need a full time proofreader
You dumb mouth breather
Well you should hire some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish what is proper English (everybody wise up)
One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say "to whom," don't ever say "to who"
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
You finished second grade, I hope you can tell
If you're doing good or doing well (everybody wise up)
Figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
Of what's figurative and what's literal
Over just now (just now) you said (you said)
You literally couldn't get out of bed (what)
That really makes me wanna literally smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
I read your email
It's quite apparent, your grammar's errant
You're incoherent
Saw your blog post
It's really fantastic, that was sarcastic (aw psych!)
'Cause you write like a spastic
I hate these word crimes (everybody wise up)
Your prose is dopey
Think you should only write in emoji
Well you're a lost cause
Go back to preschool
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool
Never mind I give up
Really now I give up
(Hey hey hey)
(Hey hey hey)
(Go away)
